By Christopher Marsala
I’m sitting in my lovely, holiday-imbued Connecticut home as I write this,
contemplating exactly which words I want to express so as to effectively bring my
Italian experience abroad to completion.
The truth? I’m currently at a loss for them.
Don’t misread me: it’s a magnificent loss of words. These past three-and-a-half
months have brought me ecstatic highs, expansive travel adventures across Europe, and a more empowered sense of self because of my own introspection. Take the
cultural aspects—culinary delights, international destinations, vibrant colors,
musical sounds, and native people—mix them all together with a young man’s
bright-eyed wonder of the world around him, and you have the recipe for a true-
blue Cosmopolitan Transformation.
That’s who I am.
Transformed. Stronger. Self-reliant. Authentic. Emotionally and spiritually connected to the world.
Above all things, I have become a more dazzling and soulful person because of this experience. And I wouldn’t have traded it for anything!
During my last week, I actually had a surprise visit from the past. While I was
preparing myself for Final Exams, clearing out my apartment, and getting my last
gelato fixes around Florence, my long-ago Italian lover messaged me on Facebook
asking if we could meet one last time.
My stomach dropped when I read his name on my iPhone screen. Not only had it been FOREVER since we last spoke, but I hadn’t exactly left on best terms.
Let me just say that it’s hard for me to communicate difficult emotions face-to-face, and that I can be a bit selfish if I’m not checking myself. Knowing that I needed to see him—for my own resolution, for karmic purposes, or for a potential love-making session (more on that soon)—I wrote back saying that I’d meet up with him for coffee.
You know that feeling, when it’s been a lifetime since you’ve seen a loved one or that person who used to torment your life? Regardless of how much time has passed, or how much you’ve developed as an individual, you can’t help but let a surge of passionate emotions rush over you like a tsunami.
When I saw him get out of his car, smiling in his pink sunglasses, I remembered how I used to love so many different things about him.
Let the complication begin.
Except, this time, it wasn’t complicated. We talked, he said things, I said things, and we both found ourselves in a space of peace and good will. So much, in fact, that I ended up crying in front of him at least three times. One of my deepest fears is that he thought I hadn’t cared about him, or that I was always looking for the next “thrill” and could never be emotionally deep. He had meant a lot to me at one point in time, and I needed him to know that I did love him—even though that word, in all of its explosive and nuanced layers, was endlessly changing.
Like a Christmas miracle, he understood. He hugged me tight as I shed my tears, telling me, “Be strong."
We walked back to my apartment together, and I had originally planned to say good-bye to him one last time, with a short kiss on the lips to send him on his way.
But…let’s just say one short kiss turned into a two hour and fifteen minute
intimate affair in the laundry room of my apartment.
I had forgotten how much I loved to kiss his lips and chin, or the way his chest and biceps were beautiful and muscular. I had forgotten his scent and how much I loved to bury myself into him, to feel a merged sense of comfort and protection. I had forgotten his deep, soulful black eyes, and his wild jet black hair that was just so sexy and free. I had forgotten how much nirvana we had shared on a sexual level—a level that I missed in ways that I can’t even bring to pass my lips—and it felt sacred to be with him one last time.
What’s wonderful is that I’m not even sad. I’m glowing with my own sexual energy
and passion, and it’s a vital force that’s driving me forward into new life adventures.
Now that I’m back in the States, with a newfound appreciation for all things playful
and gay-ful, I’m down for a new personal frontier. I’ve got moxy, baby, and I’m ready
to roll! This international journey has truly inspired me to touch not only the stars,
but the heavenly cosmos itself.
For that, I could not be more grateful.
Even though my international affair (pun intended!) has come to an end, it’s only
been the beginning of my Love Awakening.
So stay tuned, my friends.
Chris Marsala, Love Blogger
Curious, excited, and passionate about life’s possibilities, writer and blogger Christopher Marsala can think of no better way to share his life experiences than through the (online) written word. When it comes to matters of the heart, he believes that having faith in the Universe, loving oneself, and using his playfully seductive witticisms are a divine trifecta for for attracting romantic succes.