Over the course of my life, I have had the absolute privilege of meeting some very amazing and educated people. Whether they have been entertainers, writers, doctors or business owners, each one of them have brought a certain amount of awe to our conversation that I could never explain. It’s as if I am a starry-eyed 4-year-old meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time.
I love hearing them tell me about where they went to school, why they started their profession and the defining moments of their life that made them who they are. It’s exciting to think that at some point in life, somebody went to school with the next president, Olympian or CEO of a company.
It’s at that very moment when I think I have nothing in common with “Mr. or Mrs. Career” that we begin a conversation about relationships.
They would say things like “Relationships are hard for me” or “I met this guy who was married and I thought he was gonna leave his boyfriend,” and my personal favorite: “I was dating this great guy, but I broke it up because I couldn’t commit.”
And that’s when the playing field begins to level out a bit.
It’s that awkward moment when you realize a “record scratch” sound effect does have its place in real life.
"With all their education…why do most people tend to be smart in the head but not smart in the heart?"
I will be the first to acknowledge that book smarts does not mean life smart, nor does it amount to anything next to experience. But, I really need everyone to start making some educated decisions when it comes to matters of the heart.
I have long been accused as being man of “Yes or No Decision Making.” It’s a trait that I wholeheartedly give credit to my Virgo personality. Honestly though people, it is as simple as “Yes or No.”
Should one get into a relationship with someone still in a relationship? No.
Do I call someone back if I like them? Yes.
Should I go on dates if I’m not ready to settle down? No.
Is there such thing as love? Yes. Yes. Yes.
And please, spare me the “it’s complicated” angle—it bores me.
Every single one of us deserves a relationship that is beautiful, fulfilling and reciprocal. It is beyond comprehension that people can accept a bad person into their life (friendship or personal) or stay in one after the disclosure of a toxic personality.
We often tend to sell ourselves short on the type of person that we can have in our lives because of insecurities. It’s those insecurities that we must face head on in order to foster better relationships and better love. It always starts from within you!
So if your list of ex-lovers is looking more like a list of Street Fighter Characters than potential husbands, it’s time for a “Come To Jesus Moment” with yourself.
Let’s mix ourselves a refreshing Cupid Cocktail in order to get the right man! Here is how you do it:
• 1 Bucket of Ice
Mostly this is to throw on yourself to wake you from your horrible track record.
• 1 part, Common Sense
This is to help you understand that good relationships start with people who are available!
• 1 part Book Smarts
This is to encourage you to use that inner nerd that is screaming for you to choose a husband, not a whore.
• A dash of Experience
This is to help remind you that the “rinse and repeat cycle” is for dirty laundry only and never for relationships.
And last but not least-—a big scoop of reality
To remind you that absolutely nothing in life comes easy, even relationships. You can never wish them into existence. You have to work at it and even when you find them you have to work even harder.
So as you head out to the bars this weekend and you find yourself being lured into the tractor beam of Mr.Sexy Hot/In A Relationship/Flirty/Alcoholic/No Direction/Fine Example of a Man—remember the Cupid Cocktail and use that moment to be “Smart In the Heart and Smart in the Head!”
David Cruz, III
David is the Founder and Creative Director of Finding Cupid. He has been writing about Dating & Relationships for the last five years and is a contributor to Huffington Post, Frontiers Media, Your Tango and many other publications. David can often be found in the greeting card aisle searching for the ultimate love card, or a bakery making bad decisions for himself.
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