We’ve all been there; you’re out at the club with the girls or the boys. You’re sippin’ and dippin’ to some good music, when all of the sudden, the music seems to fade into the background.
You tune out your friend who’s mid-sentence of their story about who they ran into earlier at Target. Everyone else in the joint seems to blend in with the walls, except for the one guy or girl who just made an entrance in what seemed to be slow motion.
Who the hell is THAT!?
As they leave your line of sight, you snap out of it. You regain awareness of your surroundings and try to fake an interested response to your friend’s story, which you’ve now missed half of. Breathe, child! You must compose.
From this moment on, the night is dedicated to that one person who unknowingly took your breath away. You’ve gotta make it happen, and you must act quickly– if not, someone else surely will.
But how do you make that move? What do you do to draw that line in between you and them? Flirt! It’s the age-old strategy to initiate connection to a suitable single.
This is the most obvious scenario, especially in a loud or crowded place. Pick a spot to focus on around their head. They’ll notice, and if they don’t, one of their friends probably will see you and alert them. Don’t be creepy, or look like you’re concentrating too hard. The idea here is to meet their eyes and draw them in. You don’t want to freak them out.
After you’ve successfully made eye contact, take a break. Look back to your group of friends, to a nearby TV screen or whatever else may be there to look at. If possible, have a friend be your eyes to see if they continue to look in your direction. This is a good way to gauge interest.
This may seem a bit juvenile, but flirting can be somewhat ritualistic. Kind of like a mating game. And as cliché as it may sound, you really don’t want to look too eager.
Once you feel like they’ve noticed you and look interested, it’s time to chat. Go over with a friend, if one is available, and make some small talk with their group, paying special attention to Mister or Miss Hottie.
This is the hardest part for shy people, but just keep your confidence composed. No need to freak out– you’re just talking. It’s that simple.
Typical conversation will do just fine. Just be friendly, and see what they’re actually like up close. Believe it or not, “across the room” is not always the best place to get to know someone.
Take it Outside
If you’re able to get the group conversation narrowed down to dialogue between you and that one special person, grab a drink with them and take it to a quieter spot- or outside, if possible.
This is where you can really stop the small talk and genuinely get to know them. If you really think about it, the point is to find out what their “deal” is, without being too invasive. Single? Not crazy? Overall have their shit together? Good deal!
Get That Number!
Assuming all has gone well to this point, and they haven’t peaced out on you, it’s time to go for that golden number. Surely you’d like to see them again in a more intentional setting, rather than just running into them while out with other people. There’s nothing wrong with that!
You exchange numbers, you hug it out (or shake, depending on what feels right) and you get the hell out of there. You don’t want to chance getting drunk and screwing the whole thing up by being seen kissing some other random person.
Leave while the going is good!
Things to Avoid:
Leaning on a Wingman
Although it’s fine to have a little help initiating first contact, don’t do a “send-over,” where a friend goes over alone and tries to bring back the hottie to you. This isn’t Jersey Shore. Be an adult and be respectful.
Not Knowing When to Quit
If they’re not interested, you’re not going to change their mind. If anything, you’ll just end up looking like an ass and embarrassing yourself.
Sure, there’s no harm in trying, but you’ve got to know when to pull the plug. Don’t keep staring or sending drinks over. Just let it go and pay attention to your friends who you came with. The night isn’t wasted. Trust me.
Doing it Drunk
If you’re going to talk to someone like an adult, don’t drink like an idiot.
Forget the term ,“liquid courage” and be as aware and sober as you possibly can when making a move. Doing otherwise will tarnish your reputation to that person and the people whom they’re with. There’s no recovering from that.
Good luck, and happy flirting!