Just when you thought you knew every trick in the book on screening that potential love interest of yours, something happens to pull the rug up from under you! As you wipe the tears from your eyes and pull what's left of your integrity together, you realize in hindsight the signs of an dishonest lover were loud and clear!
Why didn't you check sooner?
Let's face it, as a modern dater you live in a technology driven world that can often work against you. From fake profiles, unsettled divorces and arrest records, you have to protect yourselves!
In order to help everyone navigate this tricky world of dating secrets, I wrote this quick guide on how to protect one's self from falling prey to a potential love interest that may not be telling you the full story!
1. Check Those References: Make Sure They Meet Your Requirements!
I have always said that dating is pretty much like a job interview. You have to get dressed, answer a list of questions and if you are lucky- you will get a job offer! But no employer would hire without a proper background check and references!
If a potential dater says they are interested in things that you do, take them on a field trip. A trip to the museum will gauge how interested they are in you or if they were just saying what you wanted to hear.
If you get an opportunity to talk to your potentials friends, ask them why they think he's single. That short interaction maybe all the reference you ever need!
2. Google Stalk: The World is Your Information Oyster!
I have said it before and I will say it again! There is nothing wrong with Google stalking. Use the Internet to your advantage by making sure your potential love interest is who they say they are! There is a big difference between being a Lawyer and a Lawyer working at an actual firm. Could your BF be unemployed? That's information that you need to know!
The net will also bring up anything like arrests, drunk photos and of course good things like awards, sports photos or LinkedIn Accounts. The only warning I give you is to be prepared "to know" the facts. When you go looking you will find the truth. At least you are well informed
3. The Hard 4! Ask Hard Hitting Questions by Date Four!
Let's face it. If you are in the dating to lock down a relationship, you don't have ANY time to waste. By the fourth date, you should be comfortable in asking questions that are a bit more hard hitting than "favorite movie" and "favorite restaurant." It's time to ask questions like "How soon do you want to get married?", "Do you have any kids?" and "Ever been arrested?"
There is nothing wrong with asking a few hard hitting questions before you get any more invested! These answers will help make that list of qualifiers that you have a bit more solid.
One of my favorite questions that everyone should ask is "Do you plan on moving in the next few years?" No one ever thinks to ask that, but you would be surprised and how many people get blindsided by a lover who suddenly takes a job on the opposite coast!
Follow these rules and it will not only give you the advantage to being the most informed dater but it will also keep those time wasting deviants at bay!