How to Be Single (and Enjoy It!)

Valentine’s Day is undoubtedly the single day most celebrated day for love and romance during the year. Couples walk arm in arm and hand in hand, doing everything that it would seem a couple should do together: dining at a gourmet restaurant for a candle-lit dinner, getting a couples’ massage, cuddling on the couch with some Netflix handy, and finally putting a tie around the door for an “undisturbed” (*cough* SEXY TIME! *cough*) night together.

For V-Day 2016, I am proud to say I will be doing NONE of those things with a significant other. Instead, I’ll be spending time all day with the person I truly love the most: ME! As of writing this, I just bought myself a singing Valentine’s Day gram (“It’s Raining Men,” if you must know) and I’m very, very excited to be serenaded by some sexy men in the near future.

For the longest time, I considered that an important part of being happy involved being in a relationship with another man. In fact, for the past two years on my love journey, I almost became obsessive and gained tunnel vision in my high-speed pursuit for a hot hunk that was also compassionate, funny, soulful and sweet. Even in contemplating what I look for in a potential lover, I set my standards very high, and although it’s admirable to “not settle,” sometimes that translates into a longer wait time. For me, I’ve finally realized that love will come to me eventually, when I’m ready for it and not freaking out and internally screaming, “When? When? WHEN??!?” So, in the meantime, I’ve decided to enjoy my singlehood as the sexy gay man that I am. ;)

So the philosophical question must be asked: how does one enjoy being single?

For starters, we’ve got to stop focusing over not having an "Significant Other" to spend time with.

This bit of advice isn’t out to claim that we shouldn’t want love or desire its place in our lives; in fact, love is a potent part of the human existence equation. We do need love in our lives to survive and thrive. But that love need not derive itself solely from a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Our family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, coaches, and even therapists are there to provide us with the love we crave. We are also able to give that love in return. Haven’t you realized how truly fulfilling it is to dole out genuine compliments or embrace a friend that you really care about? Love is a two-way street, and it’s important to remember that.

Now, let’s hit the fun part of being single. For starters, you get to live your own life and call the shots.

This past weekend, I went out every single night and met up with some of my best friends at a few dance parties—and it was TOTALLY awesome! I got to dance my ass off and engage in some witty banter and conversation catch-up. If I were in a relationship, I might not have been able to go out and might have been resigned to “Netflix and Chill” evenings. Let’s be honest: one can only take so much Netflix before we’re all conked out cold and craving some excitement!

The second and most important aspect of being single is that I don’t need anyone to validate my self worth.

Relationships, as wonderful as they can be, tend to bring up a lot of fears, insecurities, and jealousies that can lead to intense and heated arguments. Thankfully, I only have to deal with myself. Although I still have my own areas of improvement that need to be worked on, I know myself better than anyone and am confident that I will rise above my challenges to greater horizons and personal experiences because of my diligent efforts and talents. I can be my worst critic, but I can also be my favorite, peppy cheerleader who won’t let me quit.

The third and final point that I’ll make is this: sex with yourself is FABULOUS!

You might peg me as Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, but the truth is that I know what turns me on and gets me excited. That’s why I have a variety of videos and websites that will do the trick, and I can continuously explore my sexual options with the click of a mouse. Don’t get me wrong: if there was one thing that I could wish for Valentine’s Day, I’d love a sexy dude to have some “sexy time” with! However, I’ve heard from various sources that sex in relationships can get boring after awhile. Being single, I have the options of online sexual internet avenues or hooking up with other single guys—and that’s basically a win for me.

If you’re single this Valentine’s Day, don’t sweat it. There’s still plenty of happiness to be found and enjoyed while single. And hey, who knows what’s just around the corner? Just make sure you’re happy with yourself, and everything (and everyone) else will follow suit.

Chris Marsala

Curious, excited, and passionate about life’s possibilities, writer and blogger Christopher Marsala can think of no better way to share his life experiences than through the (online) written word. When it comes to matters of the heart, he believes that having faith in the Universe, loving oneself, and using his playfully seductive witticisms are a divine trifecta for for attracting romantic success.