When it comes to dating, it’s natural to reach out to someone for advice and guidance when making decisions. It’s even better when you rely on someone older than yourself to impart the wisdom of their experience and to share what has worked for them. While millennials are just getting into the dating game, people older than them have been involved in it much longer, and are great resources to go to when seeking advice; they know how to make relationships work since they’ve #beenthere #donethat. When that older individual is a family member, it makes it even more special.
For many people, family is important on countless levels. So when it comes to your love life and dating, it’s expected that many will seek out family guidance and approval on the decisions they have to make. After all, there is potential for that individual to become part of the family, so it would be nice for the family to like them.
Dating is hard enough as it is for millennials, especially since it’s practically nonexistent amongst our generation. So when we’ve gone from “kinda sorta dating but not really” to finally being “Facebook Official”, meeting the family is the next step if you are serious about a future together. Your closest family members want what’s best for you and can be trusted not to lead you astray.
"From their first kiss to their first relationship, their first love to their first breakup, times may have changed, but people still go through very similar life experiences."
While young lovers may be blinded by love and affection, your closest family members are more critical and do not have the ‘love lens’ blocking their judgment. You may overlook a small flaw about your significant other, but luckily, you have another set of eyes watching your back and taking all factors into consideration. Close family members know you much better than the person you’ve been seeing for the past few months. In fact, they’ve seen you grow throughout the years, have watched you transition from one life stage to another and know you better than you know yourself.
Here is why your closest family members are the best resources for dating advice and approval:
You should always take your mother's advice into consideration. For starters, your mother carried you for 9 months and would never want you to be with someone who is disrespectful and would not treat you well. She did not go through months of back pains and swollen feet for you to end up with some jerk who doesn’t treat you like you’re royalty. If there is one woman who will always have your back, it’s your mom. She will always be there to snuggle you with never-ending love and everlasting words of wisdom. I’m constantly bombarded with stories about my mother's past dating experiences and life scenarios. She has already made her mistakes, went through a good amount of breakups, and hopes that I will learn from her past. There’s a saying, “Mother’s know best” and when it comes to dating, I know this to be 100% true. She wants you to be happy, she wants you to know what true love is, so go to her, listen to her, and trust her.
If I were to ever bring a boyfriend home, my father would be waiting by the front door with a shotgun. And I wish I could say I was joking. I am and forever will be a daddy’s girl because I know from the bottom of my heart that my father is one guy who I can always count on. He’s the most terrifying man I have ever known, but it’s okay because I’m always on his good side and he loves me. I trust my father with dating advice because he was once young and knows how guys can be. He went through it all. He did the dating scene, he fell in love, charmed the parents, got engaged, married, had children, divorced, engaged again, and then again after that and knows how guys think and what they want. One of his main goals in life is to make sure I’m protected so he is also incredibly judgmental and critical of any guy I tell him about. Honestly, any guy who meets my father, impresses him, and survives to tell the tale is a keeper in my eyes.
Older sisters are another great source for love and dating advice. They’re closer to your age than your mother and have been in the dating game longer than you. While it may still be awkward to talk about sex and intimate details of your love life with your mom, your sister won’t judge you. Actually, she might have some hot sex tips for you to try. She’ll tell you about all the dating troubles she found herself in, how she got out of it and can give you some tips. She might even back up some of your mother’s advice. Sisters shouldn’t be the person you only go to when you need a new dress to wear or need a different eye shadow palette. They should be the one you can open up to the most about anything.
When you introduce your boyfriend to your brother, your brother would get to know him on the level that all guys just get each other. He’ll know whether or not they’d get along, if he’s playing you, his motives, and who is really is underneath that handsome smile. Your brother sees him as another guy, a man, not as a love interest which is why he’s someone who’s opinions and advice you should trust. Your brother would get to know him on a whole different level from your parents. While your love interest might be working hard to impress your mother and father, he might relax a bit more with your siblings, especially with your brother. So when you invite your boyfriend to meet your family, make sure there’s ample time to let him play a game of Call of Duty with your bro. If they hit it off and your brother likes him, you know you’ve found a good guy, and if your brother isn’t feeling it, this might be time to question why you are.
At the end of the day, no one in your family would want you to be with someone who wouldn’t treat you as well as you deserve. I fyou don't have siblings, that's ok. Lilsten to those close to you who cosider family. Maybe even a close friend or neighbor. It’s not the title of the relationship that matters, it’s how much respect and love they have for you. That, combined with their desire for you to find that special someone in your life, will make for some all around great feedback.
Just make sure you are ready to hear what they have to say.
Born and raised in St. Thomas, US Virgin Islands, model, blogger, and hopeless romantic Felisa Wiley always knew that she was a city girl at heart. After leaving her comfortable island life behind, Felisa landed in Allentown, PA where she is currently a senior in college. Passionate about Millennials and anything that has to do with her generation, Felisa is the founder of AverageMillennial.com and uses her blog to explore and write about how social media, technology, and society shape and influence Millennials lifestyle.