Ever go on dates and feel like you are having one of those Groundhogs Day moments? You know, the moments that make you feel like you are in hell and reliving the worst date over and over again.
Well, if this even remotely sounds familiar to you, it's time for you to face the facts that your "picker" is broken!
Now your probably asking, what the hell is a picker? And how do I fix it!?
Well to start, your picker the decision making part of your body that is half brain and half penis or vagina. This inner spirit animal (as I like to call it) is the part of you that helps you choose mates when you are dating.
When it's in fine working order, it helps you think clearly and choose partners wisely when you date. When its broken, you are a hot mess express.
Yes, I said it. A hot mess.
Below are the four ways you can tell your "Picker" needs a check up!
1. Your Dates Are all The Same
Your dates have become to predictable. You wake up, brush your teeth, swipe on Tindr/Grindr and meet a date for dinner at six. At each date, you can already predict what they are going to ask and how your going to answer! At some point during your date you zone out and have one of those out of body experiences that leave you asking, why the fuck you are there.
You go home, sleep, wake up and repeat.
You are trapped in dating hell.
2. You have More Sex than Conversations
Ever think "The more sex, the better?" Well, this is not true. Just because you are having tons of sex, it doesn't mean you are on the road to relationship success.
The fact is, you are masking your your need for a real relationship with disposable one night stands that amount to nothing. Sure, you are physically satisfied with these warm bodies you go home with, but come morning- the math never adds up.
That sexy woman or hot guy doesn't have marriage material written on them, just a self written prescription to empty conversations that don't go past "Can I call you an Uber?"
When you meet people, you connect, you have genuine interest in them and actually "talk". There is no room at the inn for a fuck buddy when it comes to relationships.
PS... Do you even know their last names... ever?
3. You Haven't Been In A Serious relationship Since 2001
Sure, your high school sweetheart counts as a relationship. But, when that was over ten or twenty years ago - that spells a problem.
When one is trying to find a compatible partner, you take the time and roll the dice. Maybe you have had a few long term relationships here and there- that's good! But when the last time you went full blown partnered was when Dawson's creek was in Season 1, you my friend need to sit and re-evaluate your strategy!
Do you even know what "Facebook Official" is?
4. You Blame Everything Bad On An Entire Gender
My favorite version of deep rooted anger is expressed in this form of blame by single daters. They take to blaming their dating misfortunes on an ENTIRE gender. They say things like:
"All Men Are Pigs"
"All Women are diggers" and my favorite... " I just cant find a Man/Woman who is serious about dating"
The fact is, you are not trying hard enough and you have become so jaded it has clouded your mind. It is not humanly possible that an ENTIRE gender is incapable of being written off from being a potential partner to you. The fact is, you are just picking wrong.
David Cruz, III
David is the Founder and Creative Director of Finding Cupid. He has been writing about Dating & Relationships for the last five years and is a contributor to Huffington Post, Frontiers Media, Your Tango and many other publications. David can often be found in the greeting card aisle searching for the ultimate love card, or a bakery making bad decisions for himself.
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